I’m finalizing my divorce in 4 days. I have to fly back to Houston and appear in court one last time. It’s been 7 month and 4 days since I filed and I feel fortunate it’s finally going to be over. Considering my struggles over the last 2 1/2 years, the ending seems anti-climatic. I think it’s because I’ve had my girls for so long now that the struggle seems to have been over for some time.
The final decree is just a formality. The long awaited “coup de grace” of my dying marriage.
I don’t feel like I’m leaving a failed marriage behind. I’m just happy. Happy that my girls are always going to be entrusted in my care; happy she can never legally take them away from me; happy they are safe and experience love everyday unequivocally. It’s a sense of knowing that is most gratifying. I know all of these feelings of happiness are happening. I feel it everyday. As a single parent, a sense of knowing is about as concrete as it gets; everything comes a distant second.
I remember when I got married and was so excited and bursting with emotions. The feeling of commitment was very soothing to me. So soothing that I let my guard down and overlooked too many inconsistencies. Looking back my ex-wife is still the same person she was then – I’m just seeing better these days. It’s like putting on those x-ray glasses that sell in comic books and seeing through walls.
My big brick wall of denial is transparent.
On July 13th, 2009 I will walk into a courtroom in Houston, Texas a separated, but still married man, and then walk out absolved of a past that long waited for me to break free.
Free at last!
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Tags: child custody, dicorce, final divorce decree, seperation
I remember feeling that anticlimactic feeling! Even after the long fight to get to that point!
Then on the day when I walked out I remember feeling the most awesome sense of relief.
Good luck!!
Laura´s last blog ..Our first audition
I have only been seperated for 7 months and I crave closure so I can imagine that this will be a welcome final hurdle. Good Luck
sally´s last blog ..Leaving
You have such a wonderful outlook. The future is bright for you and those girls.
The Exception´s last blog ..Just for a Moment