Jul

Are we teaching our children to be afraid?

vaccination

I took my daughter to the pediatrician today. It was the first time I took her to a pediatrician as a single parent. I made all the arrangements a week ago and got her all “pumped up” for the visit. She was excited. This visit was for a school physical and to get her immunization shots up to date. Over the phone the Nurse explained that she probably would need a shot or two, but I didn’t mention this to her as I really didn’t see a point in doing so. I didn’t want her to get worked up for something that might not happen. We got there and the nurse took down her weight and height (she’s four feet tall and only six years old) and then we settled into the little examination room.

My ex-wife always told me how difficult she was when they went to the pediatrician and she needed a shot. Despite the warning, I expected this visit to be mundane. I was wrong.

The Doctor walked in and examined her ears, eyes (she wears glasses so he asked some additional questions), checked for scoliosis and turned to her immunization records I brought with me. He went on to explain she needed two shots – PCV 7 and HEP A.

I said alright, and he wished us well and then left the room. The Nurse came back with the two needles.

I really wasn’t nervous, actually very calm, so was everyone. The Nurse told her not to move and explained that she was getting a shot; asked for her to hold my hand as tight as she wanted, but not to move her arm. She said o.k.. I asked her to look at me and she did. The first shot was over in seconds and she didn’t even flinch. The Nurse and I changed sides and she did it again and my daughter just looked at her arm – more curious then scared.

There was no crying, no fidgeting, no screaming, no cataclysmic tantrums – just calmness.

I was so proud of her. The Nurse was amazed. She told us that she gets 12 year old boys they cry over shots, but not my little girl. The Nurse gave her a bandaid on each arm and a sticker for being a real trooper. She was happy. I thought about our humdrum doctor’s visit and came only to one conclusion. The reason she didn’t overreact or throw a fit or cry had to be because everyone in that examination room was as calm as a stroll in the park. I didn’t get nervous, the Nurse was just doing her routine and my daughter went with the flow.

So my question is, how many times do we build up an expectation about something as simple as getting a shot and scare our children into a common phobia? Kids don’t really know what a needle is. Needles really do not hurt; they are more like a sharp pinch. There is just a little prick when it goes in. What is there to be afraid of? Could it be my ex-wife built up her expectations so much that she manifested an incident of crying and tantrums?

I’m guessing – yes.

What do you think? How many of us burden our children with our own fear and doubt? Are we teaching our children to be afraid?