Apr

How to get your kids to behave in public

Since this is my first post I wanted it to be about something I witness a lot – child behavior.

I’m constantly thinking about the job I’m doing as a parent. After all, I don’t get a quarterly report card or a yearly review from my kids. Could you imagine that? My two little ladies sitting me down and going over expectations, responsibilities and future growth! I’m sorry dad but, this year your only getting a 2% increase due to the fact dinner is late two out of seven days consistently, we still don’t have a dog and for some reason your slow facilitating your responsibilities on Saturdays and Sundays. Here’s your action plan to get you up to speed, you have 30 days.

Well, if you listen to your kids that report card is there and in my experience, it comes in the form of their behavior. The best part is you don’t have to wait every three months or a year – you get it daily whether you are ready for it or not! I know I’m not the only one out there seeing parents attempting to control or reprimand their children in public, I know I use to be one of them and I can say without a doubt chances are, so are you.

So what works for me, 90% of the time, are the following 3 steps. I say 90% percent because I’m not perfect and sometimes I don’t do this because I get use to my kids behaving or I’m just in a rush but, kids are kids and you have to be consistent. The key to this method is consistency. If you do these simple steps then chances are you don’t have to bribe your kids with buying them something if their good – that get’s expensive and it really doesn’t change the behavior at all.

Step 1: Lay down your expectations in the car. Let your children know what acceptable behavior is for you. If you explain to your child what you expect their behavior to be then they know what is acceptable.

Step 2: Lay down the consequences. Let your kids know that every action has an equal and opposite reaction, in other words, if you misbehave then there are consequences. So let them know what the consequences are before you get out of the car. Let them make the choice.

Step 3: This is the most important step. Remind your kids how well behaved they are and how proud you are of them for behaving. I tell them that before we go in, while we are there, after we get out and back into the car – I praise them the entire time. Praise, praise and more praise! It gives them something to live up to and if you are constantly telling them how well behaved they are, well, they act the part.

The way it goes for me is something like this,

Dad: Ladies, before we go in the store there will be no misbehaving at all and that means asking for gum in the checkout line are we understood?

Ladies: yes sir. They always say yes. If they don’t say yes right away wait for an answer. When they were really little I had to let them know what the correct answer was and then I asked them to repeat it.

Dad: If you decide to misbehave you will have to go into a timeout when we get home – is that understood?

Ladies: yes. Timeouts work really well for us. Again, wait for that yes answer; you have to get that from them. It’s really important that everyone is on the same page before you get out of the car.

Dad: Ladies you are so well behaved, I’m so fortunate to have two girls like the both of you. You’re both so smart and funny and well behaved. Let’s go inside and have some fun.

Try it and see if it works for you as well. I’m curious if this works for others and if you do something similar please post a comment or let me know. I’m always seeking out advice and looking to grow as a father and a person. Thank you for your time.